Tuesday, February 16, 2010

In case you didn't know

Pet peeves aside, I really hate it when people assume they know me (actually, on that note, I hate it when people assume they know anything).  I have someone in my life, who a. i wish i didn't know at all and b. likes to twitter about me.  The twitter post was something like "blah blah blah blah I don't know what I am talking about blah blah blah."  So, instead of asking me about my life, and getting to know who I am and what I have been through this person likes to run her mouth on twitter, act like she knows what's right, and treat me like I'm some one who has never been through anything hard.

Well, in case you didn't know: I have been through a lot.  And when I say a lot, I mean there were weeks when I could barely get out of bed, and moments when I had lost all hope in the world, and times when there was no sunshine and I was buried under piles of snow and rubble and I could barely breathe.  And it's not because I was melodramatic, it's because the world had completely crumbled in front of my eyes, and sadness was all I knew.  But I say this knowing that I don't want a pity party, or a parade in my honor crying tears of sadness that I have been through hard stuff, nor do i want sympathy.  Because how I chose to live my life is not in the shadow of those dark times, nor do I carry the weight of the struggles in my life when I wake up every morning and decide to go out there and give it another shot.  What I chose to do with my life, in spite of the hard times, is recognize the countless blessing I have been given.  The things that I have that many people in this world live every single day without. 

I am grateful for the bed I rest my head on, and the family I have that loves and supports me, and I am thankful that I am never hungry.  I am eternally grateful that I know what love is, and that I have the support of great friends all across this country.  And I am grateful that I have the chance to pursue my dreams, and the opportunity to travel the world, and the know-how to be a kind and compassionate person to everyone I meet.  I am grateful my mother taught me the greatest lesson in life : LIVE LIFE HONESTLY, and FORGIVE OTHERS.  And I am forever grateful to the fact that my father is the wise man that he is, and has the patience to listen to his daughter gripe about her life problems and the heart to tell her the truth.  I am thankful to have a sister who always kept a close eye on me, and is there to help guide and support me whenever I lose my way. I am thankful for my family's campground in Colorado. It is a place that I can go and be loved, accepted, and taken in every single time I go there.  I am so appreciative to every one in my mom's family, and every one in my dad's family because they are all special, loving, and caring individuals who are bright and talented and unique.   I am happy to have a car. and a job. and to have enough money to buy some new clothes every once in a while.  I am thankful that it is in my nature to help.  I am glad that I have it on my heart to become a teacher in the hopes to change lives.  I am thankful i get to drink sweat tea from Starbucks if I want it.  And I can go to the movies if I feel like it.  And I can marry whomever I so choose (as long as he loves me back!).  I am thankful every single day that I am alive and experiencing this gift of life.  I am so eternally grateful that I know God.  I am thankful I have friends that make me laugh so hard I nearly cry.  And friends that will go on crazy adventures with me and stay up all night with me.  I am thankful I have a deep yearning to create, even if I am the only one who knows it.  I am happy i grew up in a culturally diverse area, full of accepting loving people.  I am blessed to have had the teachers that I have that have allowed me to become the writer, the student, and the future educator that I am.  I am thankful and grateful for all the very little and all the very big things that I have in this life.

So, although I chose to live life as if it were a blessing instead of a curse, and I wear a smile every day because it brings joy to the world...it doesn't mean that I don't know pain, and I have had an easy life.   My life is just as hard as the next persons, but I choose to acknowledge the gifts instead of what's been taken from me.  I prefer to think that when there are cloudy skies, that the sun is out, you just can't see it.  I know that it is only in the darkest of nights that you can see the stars the brightest.  Life knows enough pain, every person has felt sadness, but I chose to live life happily to the best of my ability because I would much rather share happiness and joy than be full of pain and sadness.

In case you didn't know.

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