There was once a time when I thought you could have it all. A fantasy land I believed existed when you became an adult. While I was growing up I believed that every adult I knew had everything they wanted; except maybe money. Regardless, the adults had jobs and friends and were in serious relationships. To me having a job was way better than school could ever be. Friends were sweet when you were an adult because you could see whatever movie you wanted to and you could drive yourself to dinner and you could order three deserts and not a main entree if you wanted. Then there was the illusive serious relationship. Every adult had one, or if they didn’t they just had fun. The serious relationship was never very much work. Just seemed to be that it was someone who was around to hang out with you, and love you and cook dinner for you sometimes. There was no work involved. It was just everything.
The older I get the more I realize that having it all is impossible. At any given moment in my life I may have certain pieces of the puzzle, but I can never have the whole puzzle all at once.
The illusions I had when I was younger are all now reality and I realize that being a grown up and having it all is hard work, dedication, often involves lots of ice cream, and the picking up of the broken pieces when errors are made. Having a job sucks. School was way easier, and WAY more fun. And relationships, serious-committed long-term intense relationships. Well those are hard. Reallllly effing hard, and I don’t even want to get into that right now.