Tuesday, March 9, 2010

I'm Going Home

Well I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old,
So I'm going home.

Listen to "Home" by Daughtry

Home used to be this place that I longed to get away from.  I thought everyone at home was stuck up and mean.  I thought there was so much world I was missing because I lived in the same place my whole life.  Everything was the same since the day I was born and I felt I had been robbed.  That if I stayed where I had always stayed that I never would grow.  So I moved away for college, and moved away after college (right now).  

But as I get older I realize it was just my age that created these feelings of animosity towards peers and the need to explore.  I see clearly that no matter where you were every 16 year old girl was the same, all her friends sucked, she couldn't wait to leave home, and she wished her life were different somehow.  

Now I long for home in ways that are indescribable.  My yearning for people who have known me for longer than a few months or weeks only gets satisfied in small doses when I get to go home for a weekend visit, or I get to talk to an old friend on the phone.  I long for the smells of my favorite bakery, or the taste of my favorite deli sandwich.  I reminisce about the days when I knew which direction was east because the beautiful rolling hills decorated the eastern horizon.  When I close my eyes I can imagine every detail of the decorated city lights that I see when I am driving from one town to the next.  I can see how green the hills are in the spring time, and what the ground looks like after it's been pouring rain for days.  I remember how good it felt to feel just "kinda" cold in the winter, and I miss the sun streaming into my room no matter what time of year it was.  

There are things I ran so far and so fast from I didn't even get a chance to realize that I would miss them.  There are people I really don't care to ever see again.  Mostly because my life is better now that I don't have to see them, but there are also people that are irreplaceable.  There are people that have forever changed my life and I know will be a part of me until I am old and wrinkly!  There are places I am sad that I have yet to explore and there are places I have seen that I wish every one in the world could see so they could understand true and awe inspiring beauty.  
No matter where I go, who I meet, or what goes on in my life there really is no place like home.  

“Home is a place you grow up wanting to leave, and grow old wanting to get back to."  -John Ed. Pearce

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