Thursday, April 29, 2010


  • I have a headache
  • I am trying to control my uncanny desire to do things that are bad for me
  • I resisted the 420 calorie blueberry muffin at Starbucks (that looked DELICIOUS by the way)
  • I am nervous about what to say to my office manager about leaving
  • I am way too homesick for my own good
  • I have mild anxiety
  • I want to sleep for like 2.5 weeks and wake up and be done with this "transition"
 I have so much to get done and so many things that are just left unfinished that it causes me to have anxiety, and apparently, overeat.  I was looking for something last night and I couldn't find it.  Because I couldn't find it I spent an hour looking for it.  Swearing I knew exactly where it was, and then wondered if it had already been sent to my mother in the three boxes that I packed and shipped home last week.  Then I wondered if it were gone forever.  Lost into the abyss of moving boxes and random crap I don't need but am still holding onto anyway.

I just want to be moved, and know I have a job, and be settled into my OWN apartment, and not be moving back in with my mom.  But I want nothing more than to be home in California.  I can't wait.  I keep thinking about all the wonderfully fantastic things that I get to do once I am home and about how wonderful it will be to finally be back in a happy state of mind.  And it brings me so much joy to think about the carefree and nice and fun loving people that I know from home.  And I get happy thinking about all the jokes and laughs and fun I will have.  So although today may seem kinda gloomy and I have anxiety, and I want to eat fattening foods, and I have to tell my office manager that I am leaving, there is a serious bright light at the end of the tunnel.

Just trying to remember: "Replace the fear of the unknown with curiosity." 

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