I have NO Life.

I decided yesterday after spending 7 solid hours in front of the T.V., yes s-e-v-e-n, that my life has become terribly void of life. 

It's pathetic really.  There were days and months where I barely had time to breathe because I was so over booked and over worked and over scheduled.  I would have dinner plans on Monday, and Trivia on Tuesday, and plans to eat Taco's with friends on Wednesday, and go dancing on Thursday, and scrapbook on Friday, and Saturday go to the city, or go on a shopping spree i couldn't afford with my mom, or lay out by the pool, and Sunday I would go to church and have dinner before church, or have a movie before church, or go hang out with friends before hanging out with other friends before going to church.

Now, my life is boring.  I don't do anything. 

Here is my day monday - friday:

wake up. work. home. cook dinner. gym. tv. sleep.

wake up. work. home. cook dinner. gym. tv. sleep.

wake up. work. home. cook dinner. gym. tv. sleep.

wake up. work. home. cook dinner. gym. tv. sleep.

wake up. work. home. cook dinner. gym. tv. sleep.

wake up. work. home. cook dinner. gym. tv. sleep.

wake up. work. home. cook dinner. gym. tv. sleep.

wake up. work. home. cook dinner. gym. tv. sleep.

wake up. work. home. cook dinner. gym. tv. sleep.

wake up. work. home. cook dinner. gym. tv. sleep.

wake up. work. home. cook dinner. gym. tv. sleep.

It's terrible and depressing really.  I try to find stuff to do and things that make me happy and will get me out of my rut, but there seems to be nothing.  Everyone in this town is not my kind of people.  They are all stuck up, immature, rude, self-centered, or all of the above.  I have tried and tried and tried to make friends and meet people and get out there and make a life for myself here in Chicago.  But I have failed miserably. And when I say I failed, I don't mean it in the sense like I tried to ride a bike and it took me a while to get up and get going, I mean it in the sense like I tried to ride a bike and rode the bike into a tree and broke my leg.  Yup.  It's official, I can't make friends in this town.

No Friends = NO LIFE.

I tried to put myself out there.  I tried with my boyfriends friends girlfriends.  I tried with some people at church.  I tried with some people at the scrapbooking store.  I tried with the girls at work.  And it never worked out.  It really screws a girls self esteem up when she's trying to be nice and get to know people and she gets turned down left and right.  And getting rejected by a girl is a million times worse than a guy.  Getting turned down by a guy is easy.  You get up and you go out there and you meet a new one.  Guys are simple.  They are easy to figure out, easy to talk to, and easy to get to know.  Girls.  They are IMPOSSIBLE.  When you meet them you have to be careful at first, making sure not to offend them, being careful not to say something they would deem stupid, you have to watch what you wear so they don't think you are trampy, and you have to make sure that your interests are on par with theirs.  You have to make them laugh, and give them some sort of juicy gossip, but not too juicy that they think you will talk about them when they leave.  

Guys: give them a bear and show a little cleavage and you're good. 

Regardless, all of my friends are a million miles away.  And I love and miss them terribly.  Even the ones I wasn't always 100% fond of when I was home in California.  And you want to know why I miss them?  Because they are all fun and they are all easy going.  Everyone here is uptight and a huge asshole.  I miss the california peeps.  They would do fun things like play Rock Band all day with me on Sunday.  Or they would dance like crazy fools because they didn't care who else was there.  And they would kiss Cougar's at the old people's bar.  They would bring limes and tequila to my house every time they came over.  They would go to a country bar with me and ride the mechanical bull (or at least let me ride it).  They would take me fishing on their boat, or let me tag along to guys day on the boat.  My friends would stay up all night at a Casino with me, or follow me on my blind first dates when I did online dating.  My friends would wear crazy colored clothes out and they would play Apples to Apples with me and LOVE it. And my friends would have scrapbooking parties. Or they would sing crazy karaoke songs and not give a crap what they sounded like.

I miss having a life.  I used to have it really good.  I am worried that I won't ever get that kind of life back again.

And if you have any ideas on how to meet people, let me know...because I am really sick of watching t.v. and hanging out with myself.  And this Chicago winter is not doing anything for my depression.  It's always cold and dreary out.  How am I supposed to meet people dressed like an Eskimo?


I miss my peeps.